


Food for the Soul

by alacarton



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:44:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6691957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alacarton/pseuds/alacarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of musings, drabbles and short stories. </p>
<p>TIVA, AU, family fics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Most of these were originally short writings that have been published on Tumblr under a different pen name, or on FF under the same pen name.

“ And this is-”

“ The _chuppah_. Well, a cloth tent I suppose, but it is meant to be a chuppah.”

Ziva raised an eyebrow, a smile twisting across glossy lips.

“ Very good, _ahuvi_ .”

Tony smirked, gently leading her by the hand and taking a seat at the bench that had been placed underneath the cloth, Ziva glancing around as she sat. “ I must remember to thank Abby and the women from Temple… this is beautiful.”

She wasn’t wrong. The small tent was decorated very simply, with wraps of silk and fresh flowers, and a single burning lamp. An elegantly decorated wedding ceremony (under another equally as beautiful chuppah) in the gardens of the Navy Chapel was what had greeted her that bright morning. It was breathtakingly beautiful; decorated in silk white, with fresh lilies and dark wooden seats. Shmiel had practically beamed at the sight of her as he walked her to the car, and she had not missed the quick wipe of tears from his eyes. DiNozzo Senior had stood proudly at the entrance to the covered walkway, delightedly embracing her as she approached.

“ Ziva, my dear, you look absolutely beautiful. Anthony is going to be gobsmacked.”

Her dress had been an easy choice: a beautifully simplistic white gown, fitted until her hips, where after it flowed and spread around her. Her veil was simple too, but she was never one for fuss or fancy. And of course, standing just inside at the beginning of the aisle, steadfast and looking as smart as ever, stood Gibbs.

“Ziver…”

He gave her a tight hug, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, before taking her hand as he pulled away. She giggled slightly, slipping her hand up to clasp his arm.

“ I am ready, Abba.“

There he stood, at the end of the aisle, back turned to her, Tim by his side. The rows were almost full of familiar faces, before they stood at the senior DiNozzo’s request, the music beginning to play. A string quartet. That had been Tony’s insistence. Slowly, she began to walk, Gibbs’ strong hand folding on top of hers. Victoria danced her way down the aisle in front of her, tossing petals as she went. She passed by so many faces - Ducky, Jimmy and Breena, Delilah and Abby, who looked as though she had spent the morning redoing her makeup through tears, before Tim, who had a grin spread ear to ear, and finally….

” Ziva! Hey, daydreaming… Aren’t we supposed to be consumating our marriage?“

Tony received a sharp dig in the ribs, and a roll of the eyes from his new wife.

” That does not mean what you want it to mean, my little hairy butt” she chastised softly, gently running her fingers along his jaw. “ This kind of consummation is more…”

“ Theoretical?”

She tapped a finger to his lips as he spoke, before kissing him softly through her smile . “ Reflective.”

“ Reflective, huh?” Tony chuckled, curling his fingers with hers. “ Reflective about us? Because we have a heck of a lot to reflect on if so. We could go all the way back-”

“ To you having phone sex?” She teased, giving his hand a soft squeeze, earning her a laugh.

“ To the first time I laid eyes on your beautiful face, _Mrs DiNozzo_.”


	2. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DiNozzo Sr embraces grand-parenting better than he ever did fatherhood.

“ Yes, of course. I spent a great deal of time in Verona when I was younger. Such a beautiful city.”

Gibbs allowed himself a wry smile as he watched the older man chat to a young agent, who had had the misfortune to strike up conversation in the lift.

“ And this….” DiNozzo Senior almost dropped his wallet pulling the photo out, before thrusting it at the agent, beaming with pride. “ This is a photograph of my grandchildren!”

The agent, to her credit, nodded and complimented, much to the elated grandfather’s delight.

“ Thank you, yes! That is Abigail Jennifer, isn’t she just beautiful? She really takes after her mother in looks, my daughter in law is a very beautiful woman, you can see the Israeli influence. She is named after the very same Abigail Sciutto that works here, and the previous director of NCIS, so I believe.”

Gibbs chuckled lightly, continuing to listen in to the older DiNozzo’s chattering. He suspected Jen would have found a distinct pleasure in being named after the eldest child of the woman she had introduced to Anthony DiNozzo, especially considering their relationship history.

“ And the little fellow, he is Michael Anthony, he obviously takes after his old Grandpa, he has the very famous DiNozzo chin. Anthony, after yours truly, it is just wonderful being a grandfather, truly life’s greatest joy.”

“ And Michael?” the agent enquired politely.

“ Ah… Now, I believe that is after an old agent and a good friend of Special Agent Gibbs. Of course, I would have preferred Anthony first, to keep up with tradition, but it is still in there, so I suppose one can’t complain.”  
And Gibbs suspected Mike Franks would have preferred that too, preferably to have not been included at all. He could hear his mentor’s opinion, even though it had been so many years.

_“Aw hell, really? Probie, why didn’t you stop them? Poor kid. Suppose it could be worse…could’ve been Jethro.”_


	3. Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angstfest.

He had always hated hospitals. The smells and sounds pulled him back in his mind, almost torturing him with the memories that lurked there.

To being a young boy, watching his mother grow frail, slip from consciousness and her hand fall from his, leaving him with a pocket full of cinema tickets and an empty seat next to him.

_Anthony, I need you to listen to me. You need to be brave for me._

Had he ever been brave enough? Not for Kate. Dead in a heartbeat, while he stood on a roof next to her, useless and wholly alive.

And Director Shepherd. He’d practically led her to her death, he may as well have pulled the trigger. He had walked back into that office with blood on his hands, and a period as Agent Afloat would never be enough to repay that debt.

He had never done enough.

“ Special Agent DiNozzo? Are you listening to me?”

He snapped back to the doctor speaking to him, eyes refocusing on the face in front of him.

“ Are you sure that is what happened? It’s imperative we know what happened so-”

“ I’ve told you twice already, what else do you want me to say, huh?! Why aren’t you in there helping her?! She needs to live and you are supposed to be in there helping her, not quizzing me over where the _fuck_ she was!” It was harsher than he had really meant it, but the rage was all consuming and the young doctor visibly recoiled from him. He felt a hand grip his arm, shoving it off roughly, McGee’s voice barely registering over the roar in his ears.

“Tony, they are trying to help, come on. They just need to know-”

“To know what?!” He rounded on Tim, his voice sounding distant; was it even him speaking? “To know that he shot her? To know that she shouldn’t have been in that house?” The guilt was like an imp, clinging to his ear, whispering evil misgivings, a hand crushing his heart. “To know that I should’ve been there quicker, that I should’ve stopped him, that I failed to protect her, that I failed to do enough -”

“DiNozzo, that’s enough!” It was Gibbs’ voice, echoing down the corridor as the older agent swam into view, storming towards them.

“No!” It was almost a snarl. His stomach churned as he glanced back at the window to her room, unable to see past the crowd of white coats and blue scrubs, panic settling over him, feeling very much like a deer in the headlights, his head screaming, hands trembling. “ No it isn’t! This my fault! I did this, I-”

“ _Enough._ ” A solid hand grabbed each of his shoulders, firm, a sense of calm washing over him as the steel blue eyes stared into his. “Tony.”

The sound of his name was like a pin dropping in a silent room. He gulped, seething anger starting to fall away, glancing back to the room before looking to his boss, suddenly feeling very much like that little boy so long ago, lost, confused and alone.

“Boss, I didn’t mean for her…! I’m sorry, I tried, I let her down, I-”

The hands on his shoulders steered him to the hard plastic chairs behind him, and with little pressure he collapsed into one, head finding his trembling hands, nausea overwhelming as he bowed his head, hot tears stinging at this eyes. Gibbs leant down, tilting the younger man’s head by the chin so they were once more eye to eye, silent for a moment, before speaking once more.

“ It wasn’t your fault, Tony. Let her fight now. You’ve done enough.”


	4. Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You stay away from my family, do I make myself clear?”

It was a beautiful spring morning, and as such, Gibbs had felt it a sin to not allow the young boy out to play. With his elder sister delivered (with minimal fuss) to school, Gibbs has set off to the park, stopping by his coffee shop, before setting the toddler free on the jungle gym just beyond the Navy Yard, taking a seat on one of the many benches encircling it. He had taken partial retirement exactly for this reason - more free time, the chance to know his grandchildren (and he was vehement in his insistence that that is exactly what they were).

Keeping an ever watchful eye on Michael, he scanned the park, a habit he had never been able to shake. What grabbed his attention was an approaching woman; a woman he had presumed he would never have had to face again. She had not changed, despite several years of absence, yet he could not say he was pleased to see her.

“ Special Agent Gibbs. It has been too long.”

Orli sat next to him, the same innocent smile on her face. Gibbs regarded her carefully for a moment, before nodding.

“ Director Elbaz. Surprised to see you here, I have to say.“

Orli sniffed slightly, straightening up, glancing out across the park. “Washington has not changed all that much since my last visit. I am here on official business, you do not have to worry. There is a convention, I have already met with your Director Vance.”

” And yet, you have managed to find me, sitting having coffee, at my local park,“ Gibbs interjected, following her gaze before looking back at her. ” Coincidence or what.“

“Yes, that is what it must be..and on such a nice day too.“ The sweet smile did not quite reach her eyes, and Gibbs scoffed, draining the last of his coffee, before tossing the cup in the bin beside the bench. ” What brings you to this park, Agent Gibbs?“ She did not get a response, before looking out over the jungle gym, smiling once more. ” I have always found peace in the presence of children. Something about the youthful energy is… re-energizing. Wouldn’t you agree, Agent Gibbs?“

Gibbs nodded slowly, eyes sliding to her, something clicking in that gut of his. “So, how did you find out I was here then?”

“ The young receptionist at your headquarters… she told me you often take your grandchildren to the park on your time off.” Orli blinked innocently, raising an eyebrow. “ I was interested to hear you had grandchildren, Agent Gibbs.”

He had been right. A burning sensation rose in his chest, the flicker of anger quickly building.This wasn’t about him. This wasn’t even about NCIS, that bitch, this was about….

” Michael!!“ Gibbs stood, gesturing for the young boy to rejoin him, Orli rising beside him.

” Gibbs, I-“

” No.“ It was almost a command, a warning finger raising. There was no room for argument, not even for objection. ” You need to leave.“

”Please, Gibbs. I meant no harm-“

” Yet here you are. Does Ziva even know you are in the country?“ He almost spat the words, glancing back over and waving Michael over once more.

” I said I was here on official business and I am. But Gibbs, please…“ Orli was almost begging, grabbing his arm. “That boy, and his sister, they are as much Israeli as they are American-“

“And Mossad thinks that is an acceptable reason to stalk two young children?!“

“Not Mossad! Just for me!” She let go of his arm, glancing across at the young boy tottering towards them, before looking back at Gibbs. “ They are Eli David’s grandchildren, Gibbs, they are the last link-”

“ And I am sure,” Gibbs cut in, scowl firmly in place, “ that if their mother wanted anything to do with you, she would have been in contact. Their father is most certainly not your biggest fan. Now, are we finished?” He gathered Michael into his arms, holding him firmly to him. Orli stared, eyes falling to the little boy, swallowing.

“He is like his father, the eyes. Mikha'el-“

“His name is Michael,” Gibbs leant in, almost a growl of a warning, eyes flashing dangerously, “ and you will know nothing more. You stay away from my family, do I make myself clear?”

She did not have a chance to respond, before he turned on his heel, briskly walking towards the Navy Yard, Michael peeking over his shoulder at her as they disappeared.


	5. Family First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Cherish each other". He had never forgotten that one either.

Tony had always known Ziva’s weaknesses. The things that pushed her buttons, the things that hurt, the things that drove her crazy. Admittedly, some of them he played to. He let the kids stay up late to watch a movie when she was working, and blindly denied knowing why they were almost late for school the next day. He ate the last of the ice cream, and left the tub in the freezer for her to find (before buying a new one on his way home the next day). He had been known to leave dirty socks besides the clothes hamper instead of in it, incurring the wrath of his wife and several Hebrew curse words in his direction.

But the things that truly hurt her? He guarded with his life, staunchly, never wavering and never daring to go near that line. 

She was much more fragile underneath than anyone who knew her would believe. Sure, she was still Special Agent Ziva DiNozzo (nee David), his little Israeli ninja, legally probably a lethal weapon.  Now, too, she was the mother of their children, and Tony had sworn many times that he had never look so powerful, so incredibly strong, as she did when she had cradled their newborn children to her chest, and whispered a soft Hebrew prayer to them.

She was, however, not infallible to the odd comment about how old she looked, tired she looked, how her hair was not correct, how her stomach was not as flat as it had been BC (before children, as Tony had crowned it). She held her demons at bay, but there were days when he knew they were lurking close enough that she could hear them, smell them, fear them. Days when she needed that reassurance, needed him to stand behind her as a safety net. 

And he worked his damn best to make her happy. 

Especially when managing his actual work and life balance. Letting work get in the way of their marriage, of their family. Using his phone to answer a work call at dinner. Bringing home files to read after hours. They were no nos. He had set those limits early into their relationship himself, much to Ziva’s surprise, but not objection. She never did ask exactly why he was so committed to it, but Tony would never have told her if she had. NCIS was such a fundamental part of who he was, but Ziva? She was his world, no, the very axis on which his world spun. Not to mention his children; his own memories of being put second, being ignored, being left behind for work, only cemented his reasoning for those rules. DiNozzo Rule #1 these days, ‘Family First’.

The truth went much further back than Ziva ever probably realised, though. It went far beyond just being a good father, being a good husband. The truth was that he remembered that night, on the roof top, so many years ago, when she had told him about Ray. About him standing her up, having her sit alone for 3 hours in a restaurant. When his excuse had been ‘caught up at work’. He remembered the hurt on her face, the tears, the way her shoulders slumped, and her voice cracked. He remembered the pain he felt for her, and the anger, _the anger_ that someone would treat her that way, that someone would make her feel so small, so unwanted. He had wanted to bundle her up, to tell her that she deserved better, that she deserved to be the one making _him_ do the waiting.  
  
So when they had finally become one, when he _finally_ had her in his arms, he kept her there, close to his heart. He remembered that night, and his grip tightened a little more. He often kissed her forehead, her nose, her lips; he ran a hand through her hair, cupped her cheek and told her just how beautiful she was. There was not a day that went past without him reminding her that he loved her. He praised her endlessly, and he still gawped at how she could go from looking so comfortably at ease, cooking dinner for the children, bickering about home work, to glamorous within the hour for a date night, grinning at him over a glass of wine, lithe and elegant as she danced with him. It was two kinds of beautiful, and he still didn’t know which he preferred.  
  
_Cherish each other_.

He’d never forgotten that one either. She was his to cherish now, without restriction, and he damned well made sure he remembered that too. 

Vance’s voice brought him from his thoughts, back to the brightness of the squad room lights, and Tony looked back at him, before shaking his head, handing back the file with an apologetic smile.

“ Sorry, no can do, Director.”

“ Agent DiNozzo, I don’t think I need to tell you what this assignment would do for your career. You turn this down tonight, I ain’t gonna offer it to you again.”

Tony nodded, before shrugging softly, thumb spinning the ring on his finger gently.

“ My family comes first, Director. Always has, always will. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have a date to be at.”

He turned on his heel, smiling to himself as he pressed the button for the elevator, thumb still playing with the ring on his finger.


End file.
